But if any widow have children, or grandchildren, let her learn first to govern her own house, and to make a return of duty to her parents: for this is acceptable before God.

“"But if any widow have children or grandchildren, let them learn first to show piety at home, and to requite their parents." Observe the discretion of Paul; how often he urges men from human considerations. For he does not here lay down any great and lofty motive, but one that is easy to be understood: "to requite their parents." How? For bringing them up and educating them. As if he should say, Thou hast received from them great care. They are departed. Thou canst not requite them. For thou didst not bring them forth, nor nourish them. Requite them in their descendants, repay the debt through the children. "Let them learn first to show piety at home." Here he more simply exhorts them to acts of kindness; then to excite them the more, he adds, "For that is good and acceptable before God." And as he had spoken of those "who are widows indeed," he declares who is indeed a widow.”

“Above he instructed Timothy about the use of foods and about abstinence; here he instructs him about the dispensing of foods, which is done for spiritual persons, namely those which were dispensed to widows and to teachers. First, therefore, he instructs him about widows; second, about teachers, at the words *and those who rule well*. Concerning the first, first he shows how food is to be ministered to widows and teachers through the Church; second, what sort of widow is to be chosen, at the words *let a widow be chosen*. Again, first he shows to which widows help is to be given; second he makes clear what he has said, at the words *but if any*; third he shows the reason for what has been said, at the words *if anyone*. He says therefore, *honor widows*, not only by showing reverence, but by supplying necessities. For these two things are understood in the word "honor." Hence in the precept of honoring one's parents, support is also understood; as if he were to say: provide for their necessities. And this was begun from the beginning of the Church. Acts 6:1: *there arose a murmuring of the Greeks against the Hebrews, because their widows were being neglected in the daily ministration.* 2 Maccabees 3:10: *in the temple money had been deposited for the sustenance of widows and orphans.* But which widows? Those who are truly widows. A widow (*vidua*) is called as if it were "idua" from a husband (*vir*), that is, divided. For she is truly a widow who has no other persons by whom she may be sustained, and to her the necessities were given from the alms of the faithful. Then, when he says *but if any*, he explains which are truly widows; and first he shows which are not truly so; second, which are truly so, at the words *but she who*. Concerning the first, first he treats of the instruction of those who are truly widows; second he assigns the reason, at the words *for this*. He instructs, therefore, such as these, that they should learn to rule their own house. Tobit 10:13: *they taught their daughter to rule the household.* And he says *first*, because the widow who is taken up for provision to be made for her by the Church ought to be watchful with honesty. And this is what he means by *let her learn*. Again, she ought to serve her own parents, and therefore he says *a return*, etc., as if to say: just as her parents nourished her, so she too should nourish them, if she has them. And the reason for this is assigned when he adds, saying *for this is acceptable*, etc. Because these things are done not only for men, but for God. And this is clear, because the Lord gave a special commandment about this, Exodus 20:12. Which the Lord Jesus also did not wish to be omitted in the Gospel. Again, nature teaches this, that a man should repay benefits to those who bestow them. But no one has bestowed so much as parents. Then, when he says *but she who is truly*, he treats of true widows. First showing which are truly widows; second, how they are to be instructed, at the words *let her hope in God*. He says therefore, *but she who is truly a widow and desolate*, that is, who has no human consolation, namely children or parents, and such a one who has no other refuge, *let her hope in God*, even as regards the temporal aid sustained through the Church. And she ought to be instructed, first, that she be exercised in good things; second, that she beware of evils, at the words *and this command*. Concerning the first he does two things, because first he shows with what this widow ought to be occupied; second he assigns the reason, at the words *for the widow*. He says therefore *let her hope in God*, and let her exercise the act of hope that is fitting, which is done through prayer and supplication, through which what is hoped for is obtained. For prayer is a raising of the mind to God; supplication is a petition made through certain sacred things. And therefore he adds, *and let her continue in supplications and prayers*. And he says *day and night*, because it is impossible that a man's mind be without some care. And therefore, since the widow has nothing to be occupied with, she ought always to be at leisure for God. Luke 2:37: *Anna did not depart from the temple*, etc. Judith 8:5: *she made a chamber in the upper part for praying*. Then, when he says *for she who*, he gives the reason why she ought always to be at leisure for prayer, namely because it is impossible that the mind not be occupied about some delight. And since the mind of one who is idle is not occupied with useful things, it must be occupied with carnal things. And therefore he says that a widow thus desolate should be at leisure for prayer, because if she does not have this occupation, she gives herself to delights, and thus is dead with the death of sin. Apocalypse 3:1: *you have a name, that you live, and you are dead.* Isaiah 38:19: *the living, namely inwardly, the living, namely outwardly, shall confess to you.* And although delights are an occasion of death for all men, yet especially for women, because by their nature they have a softness of mind. Since therefore delights soften the mind, it is necessary that women be softened much more. Jeremiah 31:22: *how long will you be dissolved in delights, wandering daughter?* Apocalypse 18:7: *as much as she glorified herself and was in delights, so much give to her torment and mourning.* Then, when he says *and this command*, he shows that they must be instructed to beware of evils. And therefore he says that they should also forbid this, commanding that the women who are sustained by the Church should be irreproachable. Psalm 92:7: *holiness befits your house, O Lord.* Then, when he says *but if anyone*, he assigns the reason for what he has said: *let her learn first*, etc., saying that it is necessary that the widow be instructed concerning this, because this is a matter of necessity. And therefore he says *of his own*, namely those whose care falls upon him, and especially *of his household*. Song of Songs 2:4: *he ordered charity in me.* And as Augustine says, we can wish well to all, but those who are joined to us are reckoned as a certain lot, and therefore are to be loved more. Ambrose in the book *On Duties* says that the reason for this is that perhaps for those for whom it is not shameful to receive from their own, it would be shameful to receive from others. *He has denied the faith*, by works, because if he does not keep faith with those whom nature has joined to him, it follows that he does not keep it with others either. Titus 1:16: *they profess that they know God, but by their deeds they deny him.* But is this indeed true? *And he is worse than an infidel.* The contrary of this seems to appear through Augustine, John 15: *if I had not come*, etc. For upon this he says that there he is speaking of the sin of infidelity, which is graver than the rest of sins, because sins against God are graver than those against one's neighbor. I respond that the state of the faithful compared to the infidel can be considered in two ways. First, as regards the state of sin, and in this way infidels are in a worse state, because they do nothing acceptable to God. Second, as regards one particular sin, and then the contrary is the case; for if a believer and an infidel commit adultery, the believer sins more, because he does injury to the faith. And thus he says that if a believer neglects the care of his parents, he sins more gravely than if an infidel were to do this. 2 Peter 2:21: *it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than after having known it to turn back*, etc.”

“But if any widow have children or nephews,.... Such are not widows indeed; they are not desolate, or alone, or without persons to take care of them; their children or nephews should, and not suffer the church to be burdened with them. Wherefore it follows, let them learn first to show piety at home; which some understand of the widows, who, instead of casting themselves upon the church for a maintenance, or taking upon them the office of a deaconess, to take care of others, should continue in their own families, and bring up their children and nephews in like manner as they have been brought up by their parents, which will be more pleasing and acceptable unto God; but it is better to interpret it of their children; and so the Ethiopic version expresses it, "let the children first learn to do well to their own house", or family. It is the duty of children to take care of their parents in old age, and provide for them, when they cannot for themselves: this is a lesson they ought to learn in the first place, and a duty which they ought principally to observe; they should not suffer them to come to a church for relief, but first take care of them themselves, as long as they are in any capacity to do it; and these should be their first care before any others; so to do is an act of piety, a religious action, a pious one; it is doing according to the will and law of God, and is well pleasing to him: and to requite their parents; for all the sorrow, pain, trouble, care, and expenses they have been at in bearing and bringing them forth into the world, in taking care of them in their infancy, in bringing them up, giving them an education, providing food and raiment for them, and settling them in the world; wherefore to neglect them in old age, when incapable of providing for themselves, would be base ingratitude; whereas to take care of them is but a requital of them, or a repaying them for former benefits had of them: for that is good and acceptable before God; it is good in itself, and grateful, and well pleasing in his sight; it is part of the good, and perfect, and acceptable will of God; and which, as other actions done in faith, is acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.”

“But if any widow have children or nephews - This shows that widows indeed are those that have neither children nor nephews, i.e. no relatives that either will or can help them, or no near relatives alive. Let them learn first to show piety at home - Let these children and nephews provide for their aged or helpless parents or relatives, and not burden the Church with them while they are able to support them. And to requite their parents - Και αμοιβας αποδιδοναι τοις προγονοις· Let them learn to give benefit for benefit. Your parents supported and nourished you when you were young and helpless; you ought therefore to support them when they are old and destitute. This is called showing piety; and there is doubtless an allusion to the fifth commandment: Honour thy father and thy mother - provide for them in their old age and afflictions; God commands this.”

“Let her [2] learn first, &c. He gives this as a mark to know if widows deserve to be maintained out of the common stock; if they have been careful of their own family, and to assist their parents, if yet alive. In most Greek copies, and in the Syriac, is read, let them learn; i.e. let the children and grandchildren learn to govern their family, and to assist their parents, when they are widows; that, as it is said in ver. 16., the Church may not be burthened with maintaining them. (Witham) — Let her render to her children the same good services she has received from her parents, that she may also expect from them what is her due as mother. (Theodoret)”

“if any widow have children--not "a widow indeed," as having children who ought to support her. nephews--rather, as Greek, "descendants," or "grandchildren" [HESYCHIUS]. "Nephews" in old English meant "grandchildren" [HOOKER, Ecclesiastical Polity, 5.20]. let them--the children and descendants. learn first--ere it falls to the Church to support them. to show piety at home--filial piety towards their widowed mother or grandmother, by giving her sustenance. Literally, "to show piety towards their own house." "Piety is applied to the reverential discharge of filial duties; as the parental relation is the earthly representation of God our heavenly Father's relation to us. "Their own" stands in opposition to the Church, in relation to which the widow is comparatively a stranger. She has a claim on her own children, prior to her claim on the Church; let them fulfil this prior claim which she has on them, by sustaining her and not burdening the Church. parents--Greek, (living) "progenitors," that is, their mother or grandmother, as the case may be. "Let them learn," implies that abuses of this kind had crept into the Church, widows claiming Church support though they had children or grandchildren able to support them. good and--The oldest manuscripts omit. The words are probably inserted by a transcriber from Ti1 2:3.”