Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is just.

“Let the husbands love their wives, remembering that, at the creation, one woman, and not many, was given to one man. Let the wives honour their husbands, as their own flesh; and let them not presume to address them by their names. Let them also be chaste, reckoning their husbands as their only partners, to whom indeed they have been united according to the will of God. Ye parents, impart a holy training to your children. Ye children, "honour your parents, that it may be well with you."”

“As a man in forming a body, places the head first, after that the neck, then the feet, so does the blessed Paul proceed in his discourse. He has spoken of the husband, he has spoken of the wife, who is second in authority, he now goes on by gradual advances to the third rank-which is that of children. For the husband has authority over the wife, and the husband and the wife over the children. Here he has not a word of discourse concerning Christ, not a word on high subjects, for he is as yet addressing his discourse to tender understandings. And it is for this reason, moreover, that he makes his exhortation short, inasmuch as children cannot follow up a long argument. For this reason also he does not discourse at all about a kingdom, (because it does not belong to the tender age of childhood to understand these subjects,) but what a child's soul most especially longs to hear, that he says, namely, that it shall "live long." For if any one shall enquire why it is that he omitted to discourse concerning a kingdom, but set before them the commandment laid down in the law, he does this because he speaks to them as infantile, and because he is well aware that if the husband and the wife are thus disposed according to the law which he has laid down, there will be but little trouble in securing the submission of the children. For whenever any matter has a good and sound and orderly principle and foundation, everything will thenceforward go on with method and regularity, with much facility: the more difficult thing is to settle the foundation, to lay down a firm basis. "Children," saith he, "obey your parents in the Lord," that is, according to the Lord. This, he means to say, is what God commands you. But what then if they shall command foolish things? Generally a father, however foolish he may be himself, does not command foolish things. However, even in that case, the Apostle has guarded the matter, by saying, "in the Lord"; that is, wherever you will not be offending against God. So that if the father be a gentile or a heretic, we ought no longer to obey, because the command is not then, "in the Lord." But how is it that he says, "Which is the first commandment"? For the first is, "Thou shalt not commit adultery;-Thou shalt not kill." He does not speak of it then as first in rank, but in respect of the promise. For upon those others there is no reward annexed, as being enacted with reference to evil things, and to departure from evil things. Whereas in these others, where there is the practice of good, there is further a promise held out. And observe how admirable a foundation he has laid for the path of virtue, that is, honor and reverence towards parents. When he would lead us away from wicked practices, and is just about to enter upon virtuous ones, this is the first thing he enjoins, honor towards parents; inasmuch as they before all others are, after God, the authors of our being, so that it is reasonable they should be the first to reap the fruits of our right actions; and then all the rest of mankind. For if a man have not this honor for parents he will never be gentle toward those unconnected with him.”

“Above he admonished husband and wife, which is one bond of the family; here he admonishes father and children, which is the second bond of the household. And first he makes mention of how children ought to conduct themselves toward their parents; second, conversely, how fathers ought to conduct themselves toward their children, at the place "provoke not," etc. The first is divided into two parts. First he sets forth the admonition; second he shows the reason, at "for this is just," etc. He says therefore: "Children, obey," etc. It should be noted here that fathers ought naturally to instruct their children in morals, while children, when their parents are instructing them, ought naturally to obey them, just as the sick obey physicians. Hence obedience is proper to children. Colossians 3:20: "Children, obey" — namely, your parents — "in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord," etc. But he says "in the Lord," because one is not to obey parents, nor anyone, in those things which are against God. Acts 5:29: "One must obey God rather than men." And by this the authority just now alleged is resolved: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father," etc.; for this is understood insofar as they are against God. But he assigns the reason from two things, namely from justice and from usefulness. That it is just, however, is evident and is proved, because the divine law commands nothing except what is just. Psalm 18:9: "the justices of the Lord," etc. But this the divine law commands. Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16: "Honor thy father and thy mother," etc. Ecclesiasticus 3:8: "He who fears God honors his father," etc. But honor implies the showing of reverence to those who are above us; but since we have parents above us, he uses the word "honor." He says therefore: "for this is just, honor thy father and mother," etc. Ecclesiasticus 3:7: "He who honors his father shall live a longer life, and he who obeys his father shall bring comfort to his mother." And this is understood in a threefold way, that children ought to honor their parents: because they owe them reverence as to their elders, obedience as to their instructors, and support as to those who nourished them, when they shall be strong. Then he assigns the dignity of this precept, saying that it is the first commandment. On the contrary: rather the first commandment is that the one God is to be worshipped. I respond: the commandments are contained on two tablets. The first contains those which are ordered toward God; the second, those which are ordered toward one's neighbor; and on this second tablet the first commandment is concerning the honor of parents. And this for a twofold reason. First, because on that second tablet there is no affirmative precept except this one, since it is natural to us that we should serve our parents, but not so toward other neighbors — therefore there is no other affirmative precept. But nature dictates that man should not inflict harm on his neighbors, and therefore that is forbidden. Since, then, the first has more and a prior claim of debt, therefore it is first. Second, because God is to be honored as the principle of our being, and because parents are also a principle of our being, and because, as is said in Ethics VI, we have three things from our parents, namely being, living, and upbringing — therefore it is fitting that, after the commandments ordered toward God, the first should be ordered toward parents. Or, it is first with respect to the promise, because to this one alone is a promise added. And of this there is a twofold reason. One is that men, in the other things which they do, seek their own advantage, and because from parents who are already old they expect no advantage, except that coming from God. The second reason is, lest anyone believe that the honoring of parents is not meritorious because it is natural — therefore he adds "that thou mayest be long-lived upon the earth." But in the Old Testament temporal promises were promised, because that people was a little one, and therefore was to be graciously instructed under a tutor, as a little one. Yet in those small gifts befitting that little people, great goods were prefigured, namely spiritual goods. And therefore this can be referred, according to the literal sense, to temporal goods. And thus he says in the promise, "that it may be well with thee," that is, that thou mayest abound in the promised goods. For he who is grateful in lesser benefits merits to receive greater ones; but the greatest benefits we have from our parents, namely being, nourishment, and upbringing. When, therefore, someone is grateful for these, he becomes worthy to receive greater things. And therefore he says "that it may be well with thee"; because, as is said in 1 Timothy 4:8: "godliness is useful for all things, having the promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." And therefore he adds "and that thou mayest be long-lived upon the earth," as it were upon the grace and benefit of life which thou hast from thy parents. Proverbs 3:16: "Length of days is in her right hand, and in her left hand riches and glory." But on the contrary: many who are devoted to their parents die quickly. And therefore it should be known that these temporal things are not goods absolutely, except insofar as they are ordered to spiritual things, and therefore they are good for man only insofar as he is helped by them toward spiritual things. Hence fortune is not to be called good, if it is an impediment to virtue. And therefore length of life is good only insofar as it is ordered to the service of God. And therefore it is sometimes taken away lest it be an impediment. Wisdom 4:11: "He was taken away, lest wickedness should alter his understanding." Or it can be referred to the spiritual sense, "that thou mayest be long-lived in the land of the living." Psalm 142:10-11: "Thy good spirit shall lead me into the right land; for thy name's sake, O Lord, thou wilt give me life." Consequently, the children having been instructed, the parents are instructed. Concerning this he does two things: first he sets down one prohibitive precept; second, another inductive one, at "but bring them up," etc. He says therefore: "And you, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath" — not that you should assent to their will in all things. Here it should be noted that the rule of a father over a son is different from that of a master over a slave, because a master makes use of his slave for his own advantage, but a father makes use of his son for the son's advantage. And therefore it is necessary that fathers instruct their children for the children's own advantage, yet not by restraining or subjecting them with threats. And therefore it is said in Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation," namely so that they do not become fainthearted, because such provocation does not encourage them to the good. How then? He adds: "but bring them up in discipline" — namely of blows — "and correction" — namely of words — that is, rebuke them and bring them up, that they may serve the Lord. Or: "in discipline," by leading them to the good, and "correction," by drawing them back from evils.”

“Here we have further directions concerning relative duties, in which the apostle is very particular. I. The duty of children to their parents. Come, you children, hearken to me, I will teach you the fear of the Lord. The great duty of children is to obey their parents (Eph 6:1), parents being the instruments of their being, God and nature having given them an authority to command, in subserviency to God; and, if children will be obedient to their pious parents, they will be in a fair way to be pious as they are. That obedience which God demands from their children, in their behalf, includes an inward reverence, as well as the outward expressions and acts. Obey in the Lord. Some take this as a limitation, and understand it thus: "as far as is consistent with your duty to God." We must not disobey our heavenly Father in obedience to earthly parents; for our obligation to God is prior and superior to all others. I take it rather as a reason: "Children, obey your parents; for the Lord has commanded it: obey them therefore for the Lord's sake, and with an eye to him." Or it may be a particular specification of the general duty: "Obey your parents, especially in those things which relate to the Lord. Your parents teach you good manners, and therein you must obey them. They teach you what is for your health, and in this you must obey them: but the chief things in which you are to do it are the things pertaining to the Lord." Religious parents charge their children to keep the ways of the Lord, Gen 18:19. They command them to be found in the way of their duty towards God, and to take heed of those sins most incident to their age; in these things especially they must see that they be obedient. There is a general reason given: For this is right, there is a natural equity in it, God has enjoined it, and it highly becomes Christians. It is the order of nature that parents command and children obey. Though this may seem a hard saying, yet it is duty, and it must be done by such as would please God and approve themselves to him. For the proof of this the apostle quotes the law of the fifth commandment, which Christ was so far from designing to abrogate and repeal that he came to confirm it, as appears by his vindicating it, Mat 15:4, etc. Honour thy father and mother (Eph 6:2), which honour implies reverence, obedience, and relief and maintenance, if these be needed. The apostle adds, which is the first commandment with promise. Some little difficulty arises from this, which we should not overlook, because some who plead for the lawfulness of images bring this as a proof that we are not bound by the second commandment. But there is no manner of force in the argument. The second commandment has not a particular promise; but only a general declaration or assertion, which relates to the whole law of God's keeping mercy for thousands. And then by this is not meant the first commandment of the decalogue that has a promise, for there is no other after it that has, and therefore it would be improper to say it is the first; but the meaning may be this: "This is a prime or chief commandment, and it has a promise; it is the first commandment in the second table, and it has a promise." The promise is, That it may be well with thee, etc., Eph 6:3. Observe, Whereas the promise in the commandment has reference to the land of Canaan, the apostle hereby shows that this and other promises which we have in the Old Testament relating to the land of Canaan are to be understood more generally. That you may not think that the Jews only, to whom God gave the land of Canaan, were bound by the fifth commandment, he here gives it a further sense, That it may be well with thee, etc. Outward prosperity and long life are blessings promised to those who keep this commandment. This is the way to have it well with us, and obedient children are often rewarded with outward prosperity. Not indeed that it is always so; there are instances of such children who meet with much affliction in this life: but ordinarily obedience is thus rewarded, and, where it is not, it is made up with something better. Observe, 1. The gospel has its temporal promises, as well as spiritual ones. 2. Although the authority of God be sufficient to engage us in our duty, yet we are allowed to have respect to the promised reward: and, 3. Though it contains some temporal advantage, even this may be considered as a motive and encouragement to our obedience. II. The duty of parents: And you fathers, Eph 6:4. Or, you parents, 1. "Do not provoke your children to wrath. Though God has given you power, you must not abuse that power, remembering that your children are, in a particular manner, pieces of yourselves, and therefore ought to be governed with great tenderness and love. Be not impatient with them, use no unreasonable severities and lay no rigid injunctions upon them. When you caution them, when you counsel them, when you reprove them, do it in such a manner as not to provoke them to wrath. In all such cases deal prudently and wisely with them, endeavouring to convince their judgments and to work upon their reason." 2. "Bring them up well, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, in the discipline of proper and of compassionate correction, and in the knowledge of that duty which God requires of them and by which they may become better acquainted with him. Give them a good education." It is the great duty of parents to be careful in the education of their children: "Not only bring them up, as the brutes do, taking care to provide for them; but bring them up in nurture and admonition, in such a manner as is suitable to their reasonable natures. Nay, not only bring them up as men, in nurture and admonition, but as Christians, in the admonition of the Lord. Let them have a religious education. Instruct them to fear sinning; and inform them of, and excite them to, the whole of their duty towards God." III. The duty of servants. This also is summed up in one word, which is, obedience. He is largest on this article, as knowing there was the greatest need of it. These servants were generally slaves. Civil servitude is not inconsistent with Christian liberty. Those may be the Lord's freemen who are slaves to men. "Your masters according to the flesh (Eph 6:5), that is, who have the command of your bodies, but not of your souls and consciences: God alone has dominion over these." Now, with respect to servants, he exhorts, 1. That they obey with fear and trembling. They are to reverence those who are over them, fearing to displease them, and trembling lest they should justly incur their anger and indignation. 2. That they be sincere in their obedience: In singleness of heart; not pretending obedience when they design disobedience, but serving them with faithfulness. 3. They should have an eye to Jesus Christ in all the service that they perform to their masters (Eph 6:5-7), doing service as to the Lord, and not to men; that is, not to men only or principally. When servants, in the discharge of the duty of their places, have an eye to Christ, this puts an honour upon their obedience, and an acceptableness into it. Service done to their earthly masters, with an eye to him, becomes acceptable service to him also. To have an eye to Christ is to remember that he sees them and is ever present with them, and that his authority obliges them to a faithful and conscientious discharge of the duties of their station. 4. They must not serve their masters with eye-service (Eph 6:6) - that is, only when their master's eye is upon them; but they must be as conscientious in the discharge of their duty, when they are absent and out of the way, because then their Master in heaven beholds them: and therefore they must not act as men-pleasers - as though they had no regard to the pleasing of God, and approving themselves to him, if they can impose upon their masters. Observe, A steady regard to the Lord Jesus Christ will make men faithful and sincere in every station of life. 5. What they do they must do cheerfully: Doing the will of God from the heart, serving their masters as God wills they should, not grudgingly, nor by constraint, but from a principle of love to them and their concerns. This is doing it with good-will (Eph 6:7), which will make their service easy to themselves, pleasing to their masters, and acceptable to the Lord Christ. There should be good-will to their masters, good-will to the families they are in; and especially a readiness to do their duty to God. Observe, Service, performed with conscience, and from a regard to God, though it be to unrighteous masters, will be accounted by Christ as service done to himself. 6. Let faithful servants trust God for their wages, while they do their duty in his fear: Knowing that whatsoever good thing (Eph 6:8), how poor and mean soever it may be, considered in itself, - the same shall he receive of the Lord, that is, by a metonymy, the reward of the same. Though his master on earth should neglect or abuse him, instead of rewarding him, he shall certainly be rewarded by the Lord Christ, whether he be bond or free, whether he be a poor bond-servant or a freeman or master. Christ regards not these differences of men at present; nor will he in the great and final judgment. You think, "A prince, or a magistrate, or a minister, that does his duty here, will be sure to receive his reward in heaven: but what capacity am I, a poor servant, in, of recommending myself to the favour of God." Why, God will as certainly reward thee for the meanest drudgery that is done from a sense of duty and with an eye to himself. And what can be said more proper either to engage or to encourage servants to their duty? IV. The duty of masters: "And you masters, do the same things unto them (Eph 6:9); that is, act after the same manner. Be just to them, as you expect they should be to you: show the like good-will and concern for them, and be careful herein to approve yourselves to God." Observe, Masters are under as strict obligations to discharge their duty to their servants as servants are to be obedient and dutiful to them. "Forbearing threatening; anientes - moderating threatening, and remitting the evils with which you threaten them. Remember that your servants are made of the same mould with yourselves, and therefore be not tyrannical and imperious over them, knowing that your Master also is in heaven:" some copies read, both your and their Master. "You have a Master to obey who makes this your duty; and you and they are but fellow-servants in respect of Christ. You will be as punishable by him, for the neglect of your duty, or for acting contrary to it, as any others of meaner condition in the world. You are therefore to show favour to others, as ever you expect to find favour with him; and you will never be a match for him, though you may be too hard for your servants." Neither is there respect of persons with him; a rich, a wealthy, and a dignified master, if he be unjust, imperious, and abusive, is not a jot the nearer being accepted of God for his riches, wealth, and honour. He will call masters and servants to an impartial account for their conduct one to another, and will neither spare the former because they are more advanced nor be severe towards the latter because they are inferior and mean in the world. If both masters and servants would consider their relation and obligation to God and the account they must shortly give to him, they would be more careful of their duty to each other. Thus the apostle concludes his exhortation to relative duties.”

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord,.... The persons whose duty this is, "children", are such of every sex, male and female, and of every age, and of every state and condition; and though the true, legitimate, and immediate offspring of men may be chiefly respected, yet not exclusive of spurious children, and adopted ones, and of children-in-law; and the persons to whom obedience from them is due, are not only real and immediate parents, both father and mother, but such who are in the room of parents, as step-fathers, step-mothers, guardians, nurses, &c. and all who are in the ascending line, as grandfathers, grandmothers, &c. to these, children should be subject and obedient in all things lawful, just, and good; in everything that is not sinful and unlawful, by the word of God; and in things indifferent, as much as in them lies, and even in things which are difficult to perform: and this obedience should be hearty and sincere, and not merely verbal, and in show and appearance, nor mercenary; and should be joined with gratitude and thankfulness for past favours: and it should be "in the Lord"; which may be considered either as a limitation of the obedience, that it should be in things that are agreeable to the mind and will of the Lord; or as an argument to it, because it is the command of the Lord, and is wellpleasing in his sight, and makes for his glory, and therefore should be done for his sake: for this is right; it appears to be right by the light of nature, by which the very Heathens have taught it; and it is equitable from reason that so it should be; and it is just by the law of God, which commands nothing but what is holy, just, and good.”

“Children, obey your parents - This is a duty with which God will never dispense; he commands it, and one might think that gratitude, from a sense of the highest obligations, would most strongly enforce the command. In the Lord - This clause is wanting in several reputable MSS., and in same versions. In the Lord may mean, on account of the commandment of the Lord; or, as far as the parents commands are according to the will and word of God. For surely no child is called to obey any parent if he give unreasonable or unscriptural commands.”