And you, fathers, provoke not your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and correction of the Lord.

“Children, obey your parents, and have an affection for them, as workers together with God for your birth [into the world]. Servants, be subject to your masters in God, that ye may be the freed-men of Christ. Husbands, love your wives, as fellow-servants of God, as your own body, as the partners of your life, and your co-adjutors in the procreation of children. Virgins, have Christ alone before your eyes, and His Father in your prayers, being enlightened by the Spirit. May I have pleasure in your purity, as that of Elijah, or as of Joshua the son of Nun, as of Melchizedek, or as of Elisha, as of Jeremiah, or as of John the Baptist, as of the beloved disciple, as of Timothy, as of Titus, as of Evodius, as of Clement, who departed this life in [perfect] chastity, Not, however, that I blame the other blessed [saints] because they entered into the married state, of which I have just spoken. For I pray that, being found worthy of God, I may be found at their feet in the kingdom, as at the feet of Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob; as of Joseph, and Isaiah, and the rest of the prophets; as of Peter, and Paul, and the rest of the apostles, that were married men. For they entered into these marriages not for the sake of appetite, but out of regard for the propagation of mankind. Fathers, "bring up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; " and teach them the holy Scriptures, and also trades, that they may not indulge in idleness. Now [the Scripture] says, "A righteous father educates [his children] well; his heart shall rejoice in a wise son."”

“Such a one a bishop ought to be, who has been the "husband of one wife," who also has herself had no other husband, "ruling well his own house." In this manner let examination be made when he is to receive ordination, and to be placed in his bishopric, whether he be grave, faithful, decent; whether he hath a grave and faithful-wife, or has formerly had such a one; whether he hath educated his children piously, and has "brought them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord;" whether his domestics do fear and reverence him, and are all obedient to him: for if those who are immediately about him for worldly concerns are seditious and disobedient, how will others not of his family, when they are under his management, become obedient to him?”

“He does not say, "love them," because to this nature draws them even against their own will, and it were superfluous to lay down a law on such subjects. But what does he say? "Provoke not your children to wrath," as many do by disinheriting them, and disowning them, and treating them overbearingly, not as free, but as slaves. This is why he says, "Provoke not your children to wrath." Then, which is the chief thing of all, he shows how they will be led to obedience, referring the whole source of it to the head and chief authority. And in the same way as he has shown the husband to be the cause of the wife's obedience, (which is the reason also why he addresses the greater part of his arguments to him, advising him to attach her to himself by the power of love,) so, I say, here also, he refers the efficiency to him, by saying, "But bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Thou seest that where there are spiritual ties, the natural ties will follow. Do you wish your son to be obedient? From the very first "Bring him up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Never deem it an unnecessary thing that he should be a diligent hearer of the divine Scriptures. For there the first thing he hears will be this, "Honor thy father and thy mother"; so that this makes for thee. Never say, this is the business of monks. Am I making a monk of him? No. There is no need he should become a monk. Why be so afraid of a thing so replete with so much advantage? Make him a Christian. For it is of all things necessary for laymen to be acquainted with the lessons derived from this source; but especially for children. For theirs is an age full of folly; and to this folly are superadded the bad examples derived from the heathen tales, where they are made acquainted with those heroes so admired amongst them, slaves of their passions, and cowards with regard to death; as, for example, Achilles, when he relents, when he dies for his concubine, when another gets drunk, and many other things of the sort. He requires therefore the remedies against these things. How is it not absurd to send children out to trades, and to school, and to do all you can for these objects, and yet, not to "bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord"? And for this reason truly we are the first to reap the fruits, because we bring up our children to be insolent and profligate, disobedient, and mere vulgar fellows. Let us not then do this; no, let us listen to this blessed Apostle's admonition. "Let us bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." Let us give them a pattern. Let us make them from the earliest age apply themselves to the reading of the Scriptures. Why, tell me, do ye not imitate them of old? Ye women, especially, emulate those admirable women. Has a child been born to any one? Imitate Hannah's example; look at what she did. She brought him up at once to the temple. Who amongst you would not rather that his son should become a Samuel than that he should be king of the whole world ten thousand times over? "And how," you will say, "is it possible he should become such a one?" Why is it not possible? It is because thou dost not choose it thyself, nor committest him to the care of those who are able to make him such a one. "And who," it will be said, "is such a one as this?" God. Since she put him into the hands of God. For not even Eli himself was one of those in any great degree qualified to form him; (how could he be, he who was not able to form even his own children?) No, it was the faith of the mother and her earnest zeal that wrought the whole. He was her first child, and her only one, and she knew not whether she should ever have others besides. Yet she did not say, "I will wait till the child is grown up, that he may have a taste of the things of this life, I will allow him to have his pastime in them a little in his childish years." No, all these thoughts the woman repudiated, she was absorbed in one object, how from the very beginning she might dedicate the spiritual image to God. Well may we men be put to the blush at the wisdom of this woman. She offered him up to God, and there she left him. And therefore was her married state more glorious, in that she had made spiritual objects her first care, in that she dedicated the first-fruits to God. Therefore was her womb fruitful, and she obtained other children besides. And therefore she saw him honorable even in the world. For if men when they are honored, render honor in return, will not God much more, He who does this, even without being honored? How long are we to be mere lumps of flesh? How long are we to be stooping to the earth? Let everything be secondary with us to the provident care we should take of our children, and to our "bringing them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." If from the very first he is taught to be a lover of true wisdom, then wealth greater than all wealth has he acquired and a more imposing name. You will effect nothing so great by teaching him an art, and giving him that outward learning by which he will gain riches, as if you teach him the art of despising riches. If you desire to make him rich, do this. For the rich man is not he who desires great riches, and is encircled with great riches; but the man who has need of nothing. Discipline your son in this, teach him this. This is the greatest riches. Seek not how to give him reputation and high character in outward learning, but consider deeply how you shall teach him to despise the glory that belongs to this present life. By this means would he become more distinguished and more truly glorious. This it is possible for the poor man and the rich man alike to accomplish. These are lessons which a man does not learn from a master, nor by art, but by means of the divine oracles. Seek not how he shall enjoy a long life here, but how he shall enjoy a boundless and endless life hereafter. Give him the great things, not the little things. Hear what Paul saith, "Bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord"; study not to make him an orator, but train him up to be a philosopher. In the want of the one there will be no harm whatever; in the absence of the other, all the rhetoric in the world will be of no advantage. Tempers are wanted, not talking; character, not cleverness; deeds, not words. These gain a man the kingdom. These confer what are benefits indeed. Whet not his tongue, but cleanse his soul. I do not say this to prevent your teaching him these things, but to prevent your attending to them exclusively. Do not imagine that the monk alone stands in need of these lessons from Scripture. Of all others, the children just about to enter into the world specially need them. For just in the same way as the man who is always at anchor in harbor, is not the man who requires his ship to be fitted out and who needs a pilot and a crew, but he who is always out at sea; so is it with the man of the world and the monk. The one is entered as it were into a waveless harbor, and lives an untroubled life, and far removed from every storm; whilst the other is ever on the ocean, and lives out at sea in the very midst of the ocean, battling with billows without number. And though he may not need it himself, still he ought to be so prepared as to stop the mouths of others. Thus the more distinguished he is in the present life, so much the more he stands in need of this education. If he passes his life in courts, there are many Heathens, and philosophers, and persons puffed up with the glory of this life. It is like a place full of dropsical people. Such in some sort is the court. All are, as it were, puffed up, and in a state of inflammation. And they who are not so are studying to become so. Now then reflect how vast a benefit it is, that your son on entering there, should enter like an excellent physician, furnished with instruments which may allay every one's peculiar inflammation, and should go up to every one, and converse with him, and restore the diseased body to health, applying the remedies derived from the Scriptures, and pouring forth discourses of the true philosophy. Surround them not with outward defenses. For such is wealth, such is glory; for when these fall, and they do fall, the plant stands naked and defenseless, not only having derived no profit from them during the time past, but even injury. For those very shelters that prevented its being inured to the attacks of the winds, will now have prepared it for perishing all at once. And so wealth is injurious rather, because it renders us undisciplined for the vicissitudes of life. Let us therefore train up our children to be such, that they shall be able to bear up against every trial, and not be surprised at what may come upon them; "let us bring them up in the chastening and admonition of the Lord." And great will be the reward which will be thus laid up in store for us. For if men for making statues and painting portraits of kings enjoy so great honor, shall not we who adorn the image of the King of kings, (for man is the image of God,) receive ten thousand blessings, if we effect a true likeness? For the likeness is in this, in the virtue of the soul, when we train our children to be good, to be meek, to be forgiving, (because all these are attributes of God,) to be beneficent, to be humane; when we train them to regard the present world as nothing. Let this then be our task, to mold and to direct both ourselves and them according to what is right. Otherwise with what sort of boldness shall we stand before the judgment-seat of Christ? If a man who has unruly children is unworthy to be a Bishop, much more is he unworthy of the kingdom of Heaven. What sayest thou? If we have an unruly wife, or unruly children, shall we have to render account? Yes, we shall, if we do not with exactness bring in that which is due from ourselves; for our own individual virtue is not enough in order to salvation. If the man who laid aside the one talent gained nothing, but was punished even in such a manner, it is plain that one's own individual virtue is not enough in order to salvation, but there is need of that of another also. Let us therefore entertain great solicitude for our wives, and take great care of our children, and of our servants, and of ourselves. And in our government both of ourselves and of them, let us beseech God that He aid us in the work.”

“Above he admonished husband and wife, which is one bond of the family; here he admonishes father and children, which is the second bond of the household. And first he makes mention of how children ought to conduct themselves toward their parents; second, conversely, how fathers ought to conduct themselves toward their children, at the place "provoke not," etc. The first is divided into two parts. First he sets forth the admonition; second he shows the reason, at "for this is just," etc. He says therefore: "Children, obey," etc. It should be noted here that fathers ought naturally to instruct their children in morals, while children, when their parents are instructing them, ought naturally to obey them, just as the sick obey physicians. Hence obedience is proper to children. Colossians 3:20: "Children, obey" — namely, your parents — "in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord," etc. But he says "in the Lord," because one is not to obey parents, nor anyone, in those things which are against God. Acts 5:29: "One must obey God rather than men." And by this the authority just now alleged is resolved: "If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father," etc.; for this is understood insofar as they are against God. But he assigns the reason from two things, namely from justice and from usefulness. That it is just, however, is evident and is proved, because the divine law commands nothing except what is just. Psalm 18:9: "the justices of the Lord," etc. But this the divine law commands. Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16: "Honor thy father and thy mother," etc. Ecclesiasticus 3:8: "He who fears God honors his father," etc. But honor implies the showing of reverence to those who are above us; but since we have parents above us, he uses the word "honor." He says therefore: "for this is just, honor thy father and mother," etc. Ecclesiasticus 3:7: "He who honors his father shall live a longer life, and he who obeys his father shall bring comfort to his mother." And this is understood in a threefold way, that children ought to honor their parents: because they owe them reverence as to their elders, obedience as to their instructors, and support as to those who nourished them, when they shall be strong. Then he assigns the dignity of this precept, saying that it is the first commandment. On the contrary: rather the first commandment is that the one God is to be worshipped. I respond: the commandments are contained on two tablets. The first contains those which are ordered toward God; the second, those which are ordered toward one's neighbor; and on this second tablet the first commandment is concerning the honor of parents. And this for a twofold reason. First, because on that second tablet there is no affirmative precept except this one, since it is natural to us that we should serve our parents, but not so toward other neighbors — therefore there is no other affirmative precept. But nature dictates that man should not inflict harm on his neighbors, and therefore that is forbidden. Since, then, the first has more and a prior claim of debt, therefore it is first. Second, because God is to be honored as the principle of our being, and because parents are also a principle of our being, and because, as is said in Ethics VI, we have three things from our parents, namely being, living, and upbringing — therefore it is fitting that, after the commandments ordered toward God, the first should be ordered toward parents. Or, it is first with respect to the promise, because to this one alone is a promise added. And of this there is a twofold reason. One is that men, in the other things which they do, seek their own advantage, and because from parents who are already old they expect no advantage, except that coming from God. The second reason is, lest anyone believe that the honoring of parents is not meritorious because it is natural — therefore he adds "that thou mayest be long-lived upon the earth." But in the Old Testament temporal promises were promised, because that people was a little one, and therefore was to be graciously instructed under a tutor, as a little one. Yet in those small gifts befitting that little people, great goods were prefigured, namely spiritual goods. And therefore this can be referred, according to the literal sense, to temporal goods. And thus he says in the promise, "that it may be well with thee," that is, that thou mayest abound in the promised goods. For he who is grateful in lesser benefits merits to receive greater ones; but the greatest benefits we have from our parents, namely being, nourishment, and upbringing. When, therefore, someone is grateful for these, he becomes worthy to receive greater things. And therefore he says "that it may be well with thee"; because, as is said in 1 Timothy 4:8: "godliness is useful for all things, having the promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come." And therefore he adds "and that thou mayest be long-lived upon the earth," as it were upon the grace and benefit of life which thou hast from thy parents. Proverbs 3:16: "Length of days is in her right hand, and in her left hand riches and glory." But on the contrary: many who are devoted to their parents die quickly. And therefore it should be known that these temporal things are not goods absolutely, except insofar as they are ordered to spiritual things, and therefore they are good for man only insofar as he is helped by them toward spiritual things. Hence fortune is not to be called good, if it is an impediment to virtue. And therefore length of life is good only insofar as it is ordered to the service of God. And therefore it is sometimes taken away lest it be an impediment. Wisdom 4:11: "He was taken away, lest wickedness should alter his understanding." Or it can be referred to the spiritual sense, "that thou mayest be long-lived in the land of the living." Psalm 142:10-11: "Thy good spirit shall lead me into the right land; for thy name's sake, O Lord, thou wilt give me life." Consequently, the children having been instructed, the parents are instructed. Concerning this he does two things: first he sets down one prohibitive precept; second, another inductive one, at "but bring them up," etc. He says therefore: "And you, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath" — not that you should assent to their will in all things. Here it should be noted that the rule of a father over a son is different from that of a master over a slave, because a master makes use of his slave for his own advantage, but a father makes use of his son for the son's advantage. And therefore it is necessary that fathers instruct their children for the children's own advantage, yet not by restraining or subjecting them with threats. And therefore it is said in Colossians 3:21: "Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation," namely so that they do not become fainthearted, because such provocation does not encourage them to the good. How then? He adds: "but bring them up in discipline" — namely of blows — "and correction" — namely of words — that is, rebuke them and bring them up, that they may serve the Lord. Or: "in discipline," by leading them to the good, and "correction," by drawing them back from evils.”

“And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath,.... Neither by words; by unjust and, unreasonable commands; by contumelious and reproachful language; by frequent and public chidings, and by indiscreet and passionate expressions: nor by deeds; preferring one to another; by denying them the necessaries of life; by not allowing them proper recreation; by severe and cruel blows, and inhuman usage; by not giving them suitable education; by an improper disposal of them in marriage; and by profusely spending their estates, and leaving nothing to them: not but that parents may, and ought to correct and rebuke their children; nor are they accountable to them for their conduct; yet they should take care not to provoke them to wrath, because this alienates their minds from them, and renders their instructions and corrections useless, and puts them upon sinful practices; wrath lets in Satan, and leads to sin against God; and indeed it is difficult in the best of men to be angry and not sin; see Col 3:21. Fathers are particularly mentioned, they being the heads of families, and are apt to be too severe, as mothers too indulgent. But bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; instructing them in the knowledge of divine things, setting them good examples, taking care to prevent their falling into bad company, praying with them, and for them, bringing them into the house of God, under the means of grace, to attend public worship; all which, under a divine blessing, may be very useful to them; the example of Abraham is worthy of imitation, Gen 18:19, and the advice of the wise man deserves attention, Pro 22:6.”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath - Avoid all severity; this will hurt your own souls, and do them no good; on the contrary, if punished with severity or cruelty, they will be only hardened and made desperate in their sins. Cruel parents generally have bad children. He who corrects his children according to God and reason will feel every blow on his own heart more sensibly than his child feels it on his body. Parents are called to correct; not to punish, their children. Those who punish them do it from a principle of revenge; those who correct them do it from a principle of affectionate concern. Bring them up, etc - Εκτρεφετε αυτα εν παιδειᾳ και νουθεσια Κυριου· literally, Nourish them in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. The mind is to be nourished with wholesome discipline and instruction, as the body is with proper food. Παιδεια, discipline, may refer to all that knowledge which is proper for children, including elementary principles and rules for behavior, etc. Νουθεσια, instruction, may imply whatever is necessary to form the mind; to touch, regulate, and purify the passions; and necessarily includes the whole of religion. Both these should be administered in the Lord - according to his will and word, and in reference to his eternal glory. All the important lessons and doctrines being derived from his revelation, therefore they are called the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

“fathers--including mothers; the fathers are specified as being the fountains of domestic authority. Fathers are more prone to passion in relation to their children than mothers, whose fault is rather over-indulgence. provoke not--irritate not, by vexatious commands, unreasonable blame, and uncertain temper [ALFORD]. Col 3:21, "lest they be discouraged." nurture--Greek, "discipline," namely, training by chastening in act where needed (Job 5:17; Heb 12:7). admonition--training by words (Deu 6:7; "catechise," Pro 22:6, Margin), whether of encouragement, or remonstrance, or reproof, according as is required [TRENCH]. Contrast Sa1 3:13, Margin. of the Lord--such as the Lord approves, and by His Spirit dictates.”