Fathers, provoke not your children to indignation, lest they be discouraged.

“We have here the message of the Scriptures which declares: "Children, love your fathers; parents, do not provoke your children to anger." Nature has implanted in beasts the instinct to love their own brood and hold dear their own progeny. But the beasts know nothing of relationsinlaw. Here, parents do not become estranged from their offspring by the act of changing their mates. They know nothing of preferences given to children of a later union to the neglect of those of a former marriage. They are conscious of the value of their pledges and are unacquainted with distinctions in respect to love, to incentives due to hate and to discriminations in acts that involve wrongdoing. Wild creatures have a nature that is simple and one which has no concern in the perversion of truth. And so the Lord has ordained that those creatures to whom he has bestowed a minimum of reason are endowed with the maximum of feeling.”

“Lo! again here also is subjection and love. And he said not, "Love your children," for it had been superfluous, seeing that nature itself constraineth to this; but what needed correction he corrected; that the love should in this case also be the more vehement, because that the obedience is greater. For it nowhere lays down as an exemplification the relation of husband and wife; but what? hear the prophet saying, "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitied them that fear Him" (Ps. ciii. 13, Sept.) And again Christ saith, "What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?" (Matt. vii. 9.) He hath set down what he knew had the greatest power to seize upon them; and whilst commanding them he has spoken more like a friend; and nowhere does he mention God, for he would overcome parents, and bow their tender affections. That is, "Make them not more contentious, there are occasions when you ought even to give way."”

“Differently to be admonished are subjects and prelates: the former that subjection crush them not, the latter that superior place elate them not: the former that they fail not to fulfil what is commanded them, the latter that they command not more to be fulfilled than is just: the former that they submit humbly, the latter that they preside temperately. For this, which may be understood also figuratively, is said to the former, Children, obey your parents in the Lord: but to the latter it is enjoined, And ye, fathers, provoke not your children to wrath. Let the former learn how to order their inward thoughts before the eyes of the hidden judge; the latter how also to those that are committed to them to afford outwardly examples of good living. For prelates ought to know that, if they ever perpetrate what is wrong, they are worthy of as many deaths as they transmit examples of perdition to their subjects. Wherefore it is necessary that they guard themselves so much the more cautiously from sin as by the bad things they do they die not alone, but are guilty of the souls of others, which by their bad example they have destroyed.”

“Once the general instruction to all has been laid down, here he begins to set down the special instruction. First he gives certain special teachings pertaining to the individual states within the Church; second, certain teachings common to all states with respect to certain conditions, in chapter IV, at "be instant in prayer." The first is divided into three, according to the three bonds from which a household is constituted, according to the Philosopher: of which one is that of husband and wife; the second, of father and son; the other, of master and servant. The second is at "children." The third, at "servants." Each of these is divided into two, according as he admonishes the subjects to obey, and the superiors to command with moderation. He therefore says wives, etc., and he says as is fitting, because this subjection is ordained by divine law. Gen. 3:16: "you shall be under your husband's power, and he shall have dominion over you." 1 Cor. 14:34: "let women keep silence in the churches, for it is not permitted them to speak, but to be subject, as the law also says." And the reason for this is that to rule belongs to reason; but men are stronger in reason, and therefore ought to preside. Likewise he adds in the Lord, because all things ordained to certain ends must be referred finally to God. Then he admonishes the husbands to love them, saying husbands, love your wives, for this is natural, since husband and wife are in a certain way one. Eph. 5:25: "husbands, love your wives," et cetera. And he forbids that they be bitter toward them. Mic. 1:12: "she who dwells in bitterness has grown weak unto good." Eph. 4:31: "let all bitterness, and anger, and indignation, and clamor, and blasphemy be taken away from you, with all malice." Then when he says children, etc., he deals with the second, and says children, obey in all things, namely, those things which are not against God. Heb. 12:9: "we have indeed had the fathers of our flesh for instructors, and we reverenced them," et cetera. But if they should command in matters that are against God, then that saying is to be understood which is said in Lk. 14:26: "if anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother," et cetera. And this, because this is well-pleasing to the Lord, that is, according to the law of the Lord, because the law of charity does not remove the law of nature, but perfects it. Now it is a law of nature that the son be subject to the care of the father. Ex. 20:12: "honor your father and your mother," et cetera. Then when he says fathers, do not, etc., he instructs the parents. Eph. 6:4: "and you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath," et cetera. And this, lest they become of small spirit, that is, lest they become fainthearted. And the reason for this is that men retain the impression which they had from childhood. Now it is natural that those who are reared in servitude should always be fainthearted. Whence a certain one gives this as the reason why the children of Israel were not led at once into the land of promise: because they had been reared in servitude, and would not have had the boldness to fight against enemies. Is. 35:4: "say to the fainthearted," et cetera. Then when he says servants, obey, he deals with the third; and first he sets down the admonition concerning servants; second he shows the reason, at knowing; third he excludes a doubt, at for he who. Concerning the first he does two things: first he admonishes them to obedience; second he determines the manner of obeying, at not to the eye. He says therefore servants, according to the condition of the flesh, obey in all things, namely those things which are not against God. 1 Pet. 2:18: "not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward," et cetera. 1 Tim., last chapter: "whoever are under the yoke of servitude, let them esteem their masters worthy of all honor." Then when he says not to the eye, he teaches the manner of obeying. And he shows two manners of obeying: first, that it be simply and without deceit; second he shows that it be willingly. He says therefore not to the eye, namely, only insofar as it can be seen by the master. Eph. 6:6, similarly. And he says as pleasing men, because they serve in this manner only so as to please men. Gal. 1:10: "if I still pleased men, I would not be a servant of Christ." Therefore he adds but in simplicity of heart, etc., that is, without deceit, fearing the Lord, as in Job 1:1: "that man was simple and upright, and fearing God." Prov. 11:3: "the simplicity of the just shall guide them," et cetera. Likewise, willingly; hence he says whatsoever you do, from the heart, that is, readily, work. And this as to the Lord, because he who serves someone on account of the order of justice does this on account of God, from whom this order comes. Rom. 13:2: "he who resists authority resists the ordinance of God." Eph. 6:6: "doing the will of God from the heart, serving with good will, as," et cetera. Then when he says knowing, he shows a twofold reason for this: one on the part of reward, the other on the part of devotion to God. He says therefore: serve readily, because from the Lord you will receive the recompense of an eternal inheritance. Ps. 15:6: "the lines have fallen unto me in goodly places, yea, my inheritance is goodly unto me." Eph. 6:8: "knowing that whatsoever good thing each one shall have done, this he shall receive from the Lord, whether servant or free." For it was the opinion of some that an act of justice is not meritorious, because this seemed to be owed, and it is not meritorious to give someone what is his own. But it must be known that from the fact that you do it willingly, from this you put in something of your own, because it is within your power to will or not to will, and thus it is meritorious. Servants, however, serve their master out of debt, and therefore, that they may have a reward, they do this willingly. But serve them in such a way that you do not withdraw from God. Likewise another reason is that in this way you serve the Lord Christ. Rom. 12:11: "fervent in spirit, to the Lord," et cetera. Then when he says for he who, he removes a doubt. For a servant might say: how shall I serve one who does me wrong? And so he says: it is not yours to avenge yourself, by withholding from him what is his, but await it from him who is able, because he who does wrong, et cetera. 2 Cor. 5:10: "for we must all be made manifest before the judgment seat of Christ, that each may receive the things proper to the body, according to what he has done, whether good or evil." Eph. 6:9: "and there is no respect of persons with God." Acts 10:34: "God is not a respecter of persons." Then when he says masters, he shows how masters should conduct themselves toward servants. And concerning this he does two things: first he gives the teaching; second he renders the reason for it, at knowing. Now a master can burden his servants in two ways: namely, by doing against them what the justice of the law forbids, since according to the laws it is not lawful for a master to be savage toward a servant. Therefore he says what is just. Likewise, if he should exact the whole debt, which Christian gentleness mitigates. Therefore he says and equitable. Job 31:13: "if I have despised to submit," et cetera. Then when he says knowing, etc., the reason is given, because as you conduct yourself toward them, so the Lord toward you. Eph. 6:8: "knowing," et cetera.”

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger,.... See Gill on Eph 6:4. lest they be discouraged; or disheartened and dispirited; their spirits be broke through grief and trouble, and they become indolent, sluggish, and unfit for business; or, despairing of having any share in the affections of their parents, disregard their commands, instructions, and corrections, and grow obdurate, stubborn, and rebellious.”